Managing Grief: A Vital Skill for Emotional Well-being

Death is the most strayed-away topic known to man. Why is that? Well, death, for most people, sounds scary and sometimes seems to bring a negative vibe to the conversation. However, if more people were to have an open dialogue on how death can make someone feel and the cycle of emotions that involves navigating life after the loss of a loved one, it would bring awareness of what grief looks like in its different forms. Grief can be experienced multiple times, with each experience looking different. Deaths that you can foresee may not catch a person off guard as much, allowing one to start grieving while the person is still alive. However, sudden deaths are typically the most difficult to process and can instantly turn one's life around completely. It is beneficial to acknowledge the potential feelings of how the death of a loved one could make one feel and then take appropriate actions to deal with grief healthily.

common symptoms of grief

Loss of appetite
Feeling "empty"
Mind in a DARK space
Remorse
Regret
Lots of crying, of course
Fear of going to sleep
Paranormal experiences: feeling the heavy presence of the person who is no longer there.
Unable to focus
Feeling claustrophobic
Not being able to care for oneself, such as cleaning up living space, bathing, brushing teeth, etc.
Vivid dreams of the person or creature who has passed
The desire to numb the pain with substance abuse. (UNHEALTHY WAY OF COPING)
Trying to appear okay to others as if nothing had happened.
Suppressing emotions by keeping oneself busy instead of dealing with one's present emotions.

HEALTHY ways to cope with grief

One of the beneficial ways to deal with grief is to be present in your emotions and not run away from how this experience is making you feel. Many people tend to think if they were to put their grief in the back of their minds, it would help them appear "stronger," and ignoring these strong emotions will be the best way or the only knowledgeable way to heal and move forward. Suppressing one's feelings is the recipe for feeling overwhelmed and ultimately having an emotional breakdown. Therefore, finding ways to express one's emotions in gradual increments is an excellent solution for coping with grief, which can look like, to name a few:

Taking a day off from work or school, if permitted.
Allowing yourself the space to cry in private.
Surrounding yourself with others who want to show you love during this time—PLEASE, DO NOT PUSH LOVE AND SUPPORT AWAY. This can be as simple as spending time with your family or friends where you partake in a given activity or hang out in silence.
Carving out time for mindfulness where you hear no one else voice but your own. This can look like going for a walk or sitting on a bench outside and taking in the world.
Become more spiritually intuned with your purpose of being here and feeding your spirit, which can help fill your emptiness and loneliness. (If you need guidance on doing this using a safe spiritual approach, please reference my article: Good vs. Bad Spirituality.)
Writing a letter to your loved one(s). This seems to bring clarity on where you are in your grieving process, track how you feel about the cause of death, or reflect on the relationship you may have had with the person/creature before passing.
Simply talk aloud to your missed loved one (I promise, they can hear you).
Seeking and talking to a therapist. Many people need to be made aware that their insurance from their job or their parent's insurance covers most therapy costs. Therefore, depending on insurance, one can go to therapy for as low as $25-$60. If you have no insurance, here are some affordable therapy resources below:
-Utilize intern counselors! Not only are they are on the near stages of getting their license, intern counselors are being guided mentored by some of the most profound and credible therapists. The cost of intern counselors may be as $30 without insurance.
-The Black Girls Smiles’ Therapy Assistance Program provides financial support for approximately 2-6 months of therapy sessions with a licensed mental health professional: https://www.blackgirlssmile.org/
-Universities and colleges offer mental health counseling in their healthcare centers. They have licensed mental health professionals on staff, including psychologists, clinical social workers, psychiatrists, and clinical social worker staff. This resource is included in your tuition.
-Nonprofit organizations such as Open Path Psychotherapy Collective are an excellent option for people without health insurance coverage. There’s a $59 membership fee, but membership grants you access to low-cost therapists who charge $30 to $60 sessions across various states and mental healthcare providers: https://openpathcollective.org/

Dealing with Intense Waves of Grief

Grief can feel the worst when most people feel like they must mask their hurt to the world as if nothing tragically happened to them. It is okay to save your tears until you get into your safe space to not allow everyone to see you in your most vulnerable state. However, going out of your way to showcase false emotions to prove to others that you are fine, like nothing happened, is not okay. With social media becoming a prominent outlet for most, putting a façade on social media could be emotionally spiraling. When grief feels the heaviest, it is highly recommended that people take a break from social media to be more in tune with their loss. The people who genuinely care for you will personally reach out to you rather than watch your situation in possible judgment or being noisy. Try to grieve in peace and around the people who genuinely care.

Experiencing the profound emotions of grief can be especially difficult when the person or pet who has passed away is your primary source of support and comfort. The loss of such a significant relationship can profoundly impact your emotional well-being and daily life, making it crucial to seek support and take care of yourself during this challenging time. Consider joining a support group to connect with others experiencing similar emotions. Support groups do not have to be the traditional "interventions huddled up in circle meetings" either. There are many forms of support groups, such as utilizing Reddit, hearing other people's testimonies or sharing your own testimony, Twitter or X spaces who may talk on the subject, listening to positive and informative podcasts, and book clubs that touch on critical life experiences concerning the book which invites readers to provide their personal insight for discussion.

How to EFFECTIVELY support someone who is grieving

Sometimes, when someone around you is experiencing the loss of someone, it can feel awkward because you may not have the words to say to help their situation. Nonetheless, nothing you could say would make their situation go away. Rather than focusing on finding the right words to say, be present with the person. If you genuinely want to be there for the person, let them know that you are there to listen and someone they can call on to hang out with if they need to take their mind off their loss for a moment. Give a gift of gratitude for their existence and extend support even if you are not asked to do so. Showing compassion for others makes us loveable beings; do not hold back from sharing it if you can.